Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
