He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
