Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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