Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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