I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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