Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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