the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
COCAINE IS GR8
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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