It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
