you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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