I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
