If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
