It's like a parade of train wrecks.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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