He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
