What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
