we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
