They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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