Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
