It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
