Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
