he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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