Plan B is the new Plan A
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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