If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
