Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
