If that was your dad, he is hot
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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