I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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