just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
