I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
