It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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