you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
