She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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