my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
