summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.