If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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