I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
