is your mom at the bar?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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