Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's always time for handjobs
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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