I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
