I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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