in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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