Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize