your thong is hanging out like whoa
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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