I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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