Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Vodka?
Forever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
