If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
