when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
