I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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