Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
