You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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