I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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