i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
