I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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