Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
