Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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