let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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