this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Boobs speak an international language.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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