Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
