If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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