I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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