I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
even my farts smell like vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
