Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Me too!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
