But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
