I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
