worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
